But, if you go to Google and type in “let it snow”, you will have a cool (pardon the pun) substitute!

I received this comment regarding my post titled “2008 Economic Stimulus Package” for moderation yesterday morning:

“Inspiration has finally come.  It happened this morning.”

The author of the comment?

“Sex Shop”.

Sometimes you just have to smile .

This means anything but a short escrow and should be renamed “long sale”.

REO

No relation to the band or the trucks built back in the 40s; it’s an acronym for “real estate owned” (by a lender).

Needs Some TLC

You’ll love giving this one a lot of care and you may get tenderized in the process.

Handyman’s Special

You’d better be pretty handy because there is very little that’s special about this one.

Cooperative Tenants

Just give them a call 72 hours in advance so they can put away Rufus the friendly pit bull.

Near Shopping

You’ll love the soothing sounds of the delivery trucks unloading in the middle of the night.

Easy Freeway Access

Wow ~ you can see that onramp from your living room window!

Location, Location, Location

Better like where it is cuz you won’t be moving it!

They Aren’t Making Any More Land

Very true, but last time I checked there was still plenty of it in the Nevada desert.

Investment Potential

Potential when ~ in your lifetime?

and my favorite  .  .  .

Hurry, This One Won’t Last!

Then, why has it been on the market for 389 days with four price reductions?

Anyone else have any others to add to this list?

(But, then, I am easily amused)

Check out these excerpts from MLS:

• “Tenant in house and tenats use out bulidings as well”
• “There are tenants in this home that take great care and maintain well”
• “$700 drop in stove”
• “Lots of pastel used in the home giving it a warm feel throughout”
• “Exterior landscaping with lots of trees”
• “award-winning design kitchen”
• “Remaining units will be shelled out for the Buyers”
• “Gust bedroom (makes great office)”
• “Property cannot be seen until Tuesday January 4th after noon” (it’s now the end of February)
• “No grazing animals allowed”
• “Open floor plan with upgraded bathroom with double sink and tile floors”
• “This home has appliances – dishwasher, refrigerator, stove”
• “Seller will not look at any offers for first 3 days”
• “PROPERTY HAS VERY LARGE FURNITURE AND THERE ARE 2 OLDER PUPPIES IN THE BACK YARD BUT ARE VERY FRIENDLY”
• “Please read carefully the short sale listing”
• “Bring your custom paint & make this home yours”
• “owner of that property in back does not want to move the fence back to the property line and is okay with the encroachment”
• “the deck out is great for that Sunday afternoon BBQ!”
• “No holes or major repairs needed on this short short sale”
• “All built in appliance will stay with the home”
• “new submerciple pump”
• “someone could go in and start living very easily”

You can’t make this stuff up, guys!

Wishing You . . .

A Very Merry Christmoose !

Those of you familiar with the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross will recognize the parallels from her extensive research on grieving in the following post.

With great respect (and apologies) for Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, I have taken many liberties to correlate her research with the stages of grief many sellers experience in a declining market:

Kubler-Ross established Five Stages of Grief: (as experienced by sellers)

DENIAL

• This can’t be happening ~ the market can’t possibly being going soft when I want to sell.
• My home is the nicest home in my subdivision.
• I know my home is worth more than the identical home that just sold down the street.
• I am not going to give my home away.
• I do not have to sell.
• Geez ~ that first Realtor^® I spoke with about listing my home sure was negative!

ANGER

• What’s wrong with all of those idiot Realtors^®?
• What’s wrong with all of those stupid buyers who won’t look at my home?
• Why doesn’t my Realtor^® get more people to look at my home?
• Why do prospective buyers walk in and out of my home in five minutes?
• Why have people pulled 400 flyers from the flyer box, yet no one looks at my home?
• Why doesn’t someone just make an offer?
• Why doesn’t my Realtor^® hold an open house every day of the week?
• Why doesn’t my Realtor^® run a full-page ad of my home with me standing in the driveway?
• I need to change Realtors^® and find one who is more “positive”!

BARGAINING

• Please ~ just bring me an offer and I will negotiate!
• Perhaps I should listen to my Realtor^® and reduce my price?
• I promise to be good if someone will just buy my home before it goes into foreclosure.

DEPRESSION

• No one is ever going to make an offer on my home.
• If I had listened to my first Realtor^®, I could have sold my home for more than I will get now.
• Maybe I need to reduce my asking price for the 4^th time.
• I may be stuck here forever.

ACCEPTANCE

• I am ready to swallow my pride and take a lower offer than the one I refused six months ago.
• Please Lord; just bring me an offer so I can get out of here?
• My first Realtor^® was right ~ a good price is the best marketing tool!

1. They hand out refrigerator magnets and calendars.
2. They don’t put flyers in their flyer boxes.
3. They bulk-mail ghost-written newsletters with recipes.
4. They have “Million Dollar Producer” license frames on their fancy cars.
5. They brag about being “#1″ and having the biggest “team”.
6. They don’t have a website/you can’t find their website/their website requires registration.
7. They focus on “closing the sale” instead of informing and advising.
8. They have memorized “scripts” to overcome objections.
9. They spew “think positive” talk as though that will cause a buyer to pay more or a seller to take less.
10. They often have less training than your barber, cosmetologist, hairdresser, or esthetician.

Would you do business with your physician, CPA, or attorney if they conducted themselves this way?

Archaeologists were called in to examine suspected human remains after work was halted on a new development during site preparation and grading.

Experts feared the remains might be those of a prehistoric civilization, thereby threatening further development of the master-planned 75,000-home development featuring cozy, intimate neighborhoods.

After exhaustive analysis and research, including carbon-dating of the remains, experts have concluded that the remains are those of a real estate market forecaster.